The price you pay for not sharing your gift with the world? Whatever pain you’re in now, multiply it by the number of lifetimes you will return, tortured by the regret of wasted talent.
What do I mean by this? You want to act, paint, sing, dance, whatever. But you don’t. You listen to the voice of reason. It tells you to keep your corporate job, to stay in the marriage, the bad relationship, the abusive family of origin dynamic. And you do.
But the other voice urging you to live your purpose grows louder and louder as it gets harder to ignore. Until one day, you know. You don’t quite trust that you know, but you know you’ve reached the point of no return. You can’t live your life this way ONE MORE DAY.
Now you have to do something, but what? Your first thought is, “What experience or substance will quiet my call to action so I can stay far away from my creative destiny which so terrifies me? Let’s see, there’s sugar, meaningless sex, nicotine, drugs, alcohol, mindless movies and TV shows, and of course, shopping. Hmmm, maybe I’ll do them all.” And you do.
But after a while you find that NONE of the above means of escape work any more, they just fall flat and certainly no longer pack enough of a wallop to distract you from the business at hand. Congratulations, you are now ready. And if it’s taken you one year to get here, or thirty years to get here, it doesn’t matter. There was so much sewage you had to wade through, so much fear you had to give your life to – you get there when you get there, and no regrets.
By the way, this scenario is somewhat misleading because it presents a linear path to becoming an artist. As if once you’re an artist you create and live in divine ecstasy fueled by unfettered inspiration…This is not my experience. Creative resistance attacks ALL OF US every day and we always want to run. We must be vigilant or we wind up throwing our lives away.
In conclusion; had Michael Jackson continued to share his genius with us THROUGH his trials and tribulations, I am dead certain that he would still be with us today, making our lives a little brighter and reminding us why we were put here.
“You want to act, paint, sing, dance, whatever. But you don’t. You can’t live your life this way”
aaargh! why do you say what’s on my mind? go away!
This is exactly it. My whole life wanted to come hollywood but something is always holding me back.
Now I’m free. Free to express my self with pain retribution. Life gives us alot to deal with, but it takes time to relize want you had and want you need.
I realy dont know want the future holds, but I do know that the past was like everything I ever dreamed of… Lite or darc.
You got me with this one……………ARGH!
Niamh,
I got me too with it…sometimes I write this stuff to remind myself of what I’m really here to do…
Cheers,
Eugene Buica
Matthew,
Exactly…it always turns out the story of our individual lives in retrospect is far more engaging than anything anyone could ever have written…
Best,
Eugene Buica
An,
I say it because it’s on MY mind…
Again, you NAILED it! I agree, no matter what your talents are, do NOT waste them! Such an inspiring blog as most if not all of them are.
There’s often a lot of self destructive behavior that goes along with whatever gifts we’ve been given, and we are bound to go there once in a while…For me the idea is to not STAY there longer than we need to….
I am now 26, married with a 5 month old baby. I have a perfect family and I am VERY happy with my life. My baby girl is a SUPER BABY, and if you seen her you would agree. She is so advanced and she is a miracle. The only thing that sits still in my mind is my own career. I was taught by MY SUPER PARENTS to know that I can do anything in this world, and to know that, it makes it really hard to choose what to do. My Dad is an amazing person, who has always felt all his life that he has something to share, I don’t know what this is but maybe it has something to do with the lifestyle that he has chosen to live, he is a smart man with great skill but he has had a battle with his brain for most of his life. My life experiences have made me to now be a very confident person within myself. I did not attend high school much at all; I gained my knowledge by talking to people of all ages. I enjoy training my brain to be positive, to make mistakes (what does that word mean?) and to learn from the them. I am ALWAYS trying to better myself in ALL WAYS. Here is a little about what I have done with my life so far. I left school at 15 and worked in the customer service industry, I had 33 jobs by the time I was 18. I resigned from all my jobs as I was never fully satisfied, all of my 33 employers would have me back in no time (unless it was a job that I quit in a bad manner due to their bad communication skills, haha). I enjoyed starting new jobs but got bored quickly. My 33 jobs included: sales, retail, food, telecommunications, coaching and door to door sales. When I was 19, I joined the Royal Australian Navy as a boatswains Mate for 2 years. Following the Navy I transferred to the Australian Regular Army as a Truck Driver. This is where I met my husband. My husband is perfect for me. He comes from a totally different back ground then me, but he is a very open minded hard working man which made me fall in love with him. I learn different ways of thinking by expressing my thought to my husband. As for me know, like I said I am very happy person. I started a degree in Psychology last year, I know I could make an awesome counsellor or psychologist but I feel doing a 4 year degree to do the same thing for the rest of my life sounds boring. I have to do something though, because what is life all about??? The only answer I have come up with about that question is FAMILY and LOVE. Why am I telling you all this? Well, I love your website for starters. I’m not a person that likes to write that much. But today after sleeping on what I have read on your site, I just felt like writing to you. Did this happen for a reason? Who knows? Maybe your reply may help me. I am tide up with my baby now, and my husband has 2 more years to serve in the Army. I do feel though that my baby would make great scenes. I know that my husband would come with me if it was right. I always thought that actors had all studied for many years to get to where they are, but the truth is, the best of them are just being themselves. It would be nice to change careers all the time and acting could do that for me. My question is how would I manage my perfect (if there’s such a thing) family that I have? You sound like a really smart man that has found happiness through doing what you love. You probably think that I need to give it a go, but would I suit this life change? I look forward to your reply. One more thing, Isn’t it funny that I just read through what I had wrote and the thought that came to my mind at the end was ‘people will think I’m mad.’
Hey, Kim…you’re not mad at all…just asking some questions about the nature of life, nothing wrong there…the only thing I can say to you now is that before you make any big decisions, find out locally if acting is for you..so take a class there, do a play, something…If this is what you need in your life and nothing else will do, your path will become a little more clear and things will align themselves so that you start doing what you were put here to do…I hope that makes some sense to you…
All my best,
Eugene Buica
Eugene Buica,
Thank you for your reply. Everything you write I can relate to myself. If everything you write is true then it is definately my calling, and i’m very excited. Good luck to you. Hopefully I can get somewhere where I want to be in Australia. But, if not then maybe you might be lucky enough to have me come to your school, haha. Thanks for your blog it has opened my eyes up to something new. Sorry for the big blurp before I suppose I was thinking to big too soon. It probably made not much sense to you.
Thanks again
Kim Shearer
Hey, Kim..
What I write is true for me…it may hold a little validity for others, I hope…As to coming here, I certainly look forward to it – please introduce yourself when you do…I may also be out your way and teaching at some point this year…Will keep you posted…
All my best,
Eugene
wow that sounds exactly what i been doing for so long and it worked until now..i cant take another day of pain and knowing this is what im suppose to do made to many excuses cause i was to scared to get out there in the world and show my talents and worried to much about what people think about me so its now or never either i stick with this pain for the rest of my life which i cannot handle anymore or go and follow my dreams to happiness i will see you soon in the next month eugene im excited and ready god bless
It’s like you read my journal.
If you’re here already, say hi…If you’re not, say hi when you get here…I’d love to chat with you…All my best, Eugene
I did…no, but a lot of us feel the same way…it’s just hard to share with the people we surround ourselves with…Eugene
Hello! Yes! This is EXACTLY how I’ve been feeling! I’m older (36) and have finally gotten the courage and clearmindedness to pursue this dream I’ve had since I was young. It’s thrilling and feels wonderful to know that I am going to try and pursue this dream in a few months. However, I am scared because of my age, but more determined than I ever have been in my life. Acting has always been the one thing that I know I’m good at. I am also afraid because I recently had an accident that deteriorated my health; my breathing inparticularly and I used to be so much more energetic. But for some reason, the finality of my condition has only made me more determined and given me more willpower to move forward towards my dream. I would love to hear your honest thoughts about age and disabilities….they are obstacles I know I’ll need to get over, but I can see nothing anymore but acting in my future. Thank you so very much!!
Tara
Thank you so much for writing this… I’ve had my doubts, wondering what to do for my future. I’m still slightly confused but I’ve always remembered as a little girl that I want to be on stage. I considered entering the art department but there’s that little voice inside of me, crying for me not to, that there’s something else for me instead. Not to stay in a little office doing some unadventurous job for who-knows how long. This really re-lit my dreams. My parents who’ve always doubted and shoved me into a little box even when it’s obvious that I wouldn’t fit in, I’ll work hard to prove them wrong.
Tara…
Sorry to have taken so long to respond…But yes, and I was just talking about this tonight in class, we are never ready, or prepared, or perfect before we embark on any creative endeavor. There is always more to do, more to put in order before we do what’s truly meaningful and important to us. As to disabilities, as long as you can show up and physically do the work that’s required in terms of acting training and then the job itself, then I see no conflict….Just my $.02
Cheers,
Eugene
Sure, the only thing I would add to that is this. Experience has taught me that I can only create fully and freely when I create because I love it so much and it gives my life MEANING…Gotta serve my talent, the rest always eventually takes care of itself.
Dear Eugene, Kim Shearer, Tara: Wishing everyone the best. God bless each and everyone of you. I didn’t find out until in 2004 what I wanted to do with my life. I found this website and I have been hooked since. Acting, modeling, and dancing is what I want to do. I wish that I were younger and knew then what I know now. I hope there is not a problem with age. I want so much to come out there and study with you guys. My biggest problem I think will be trying to find a place to live and a job to support me and my schooling needs. I thought about buying an SUV and living in it. I looked at youtube videos on it. I don’t believe that I could find a job to support rent there and everything else that I have going on in my life. I can not tell you how much I want to act, model and dance. I am hoping that the acting world will want me as much as I want it. Please any adivce is appreciated. I am suppost to be taking some classes at the last of June. My job takes up most of my time.
Thank You Eugene…I love this website. You are the best.
Priscilla Hudnall
Priscilla,
Do NOT live in an SUV. Other than that, go easy, and let your life and career unfold. Have faith, and take ACTION. When you work at what you love STEADILY, things begin to happen that you can’t even imagine. That has been my experience.
All my best.
Eugene
Dear Eugene
If not now, when?
Those few words sticked with me when I first visited your website. I’m currently in Germany and was looking for acting schools in LA when I found The Acting Corps and while I was watching all the interviews with the instructers and reading the blog entrys, I knew that’s where I wanna go. I can relate to so many things, it almost frightens me
.
I’ve always wanted to be an actress, but where I come from you weren’t really allowed to dream, every plan out of the ordinary was just bullshit (at least that’s what I was told over and over again). So I gave in to the pressure and I tried to lead an ordinary life. But it didn’t work, I finally settled down and had kids, though I never wanted to have any (but, that is what my family expected me to do, settle down like my sister and my cousins). Well, I did and it almost destroyed me. It really did. I spent the last 10 years living somebody elses life, it was like being on a rollercoaster that just wouldn’t stop. But then it crashed and I managed to jump off.
I’m still processing my past but I am so motivated because I know deep inside of me that finally pusuing my dreams is excactley what I am suppose to do, it feels so right.
And some of that clearity I owe to this website, to all the words, written and spoken, that I’ve read and listened to.
I’m looking forward to study with you though I still have 1 year to go before I can finally say “Hollywood, here i come”
Thank you, Eugene!
Hey, Jessica Peach…
Welcome aboard…It often comes down to a choice between what is true and what is not. A book that’s helped me a great deal, and the author Steven Pressfield just spoke at The Acting Corps, is called The War of Art. Check it out…
A year will pass quickly. See you,
Eugene Buica
Thanks Eugene!!! Wishing everyone on here the best.
Hay I want to be come an actress my family doesn’t belive I could I cry myself to sleep. Johnny depp impires me to become an actoress I have tons of pic of johnny depp in my room I always wsanted to star in a movie with him
Well, then maybe you should. You only live once…even if it feels like many lives…ha!
All my best,
Eugene
Hello,
I’m currently 17, and I want to purse my acting career but as for right now I don’t know what I should be starting on at this age. Could you give me some tips or advice? Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Eugene,
Thanks a lot for the post. I’m new to your blog. I’ve started acting a few years ago. Never thought about acting before. Well, maybe subconsciously I did, but was talking myself out of it & never really focused on it. Now that I’ve moved away from a busy city into a more quiet place (I’m based in Hawaii now), I had an ah-ha moment about acting. I train every day now, read a lot and overall I’m a much happier person. Hope to come to LA sometime to train with you guys.
Thanks,
Olga
Well, it would be our pleasure to help you out…let us know if you ever come out here to visit, Olga…all my best…
Eugene