So a couple of years ago, I’m in the middle of directing our final project for The Professional Program. I ‘d spent a couple of weeks writing it and tweaking it, now we’re on set and about to roll camera on our last scene of the day. And the scene just isn’t working. We’ve already shot all over my house at this point, so we now HAVE to shoot in this one spot, the couch. I have a chat with the actors. We agree to scrap the scene, and wing it – come up with something right then and there.
So what do I do? I have two actors, a couch, and a 12 person crew who is looking at me the way crews look at directors when the crew knows they hold all the cards. They seem to be saying “We’re on the clock for now, but not for long – so with all due respect, sir, leader, director, hurry the fuck up because we’re going home in half an hour.”
I tell my AD and my Director of Photography that we will be rolling in 10 minutes. I then ask the actors if they have any costume pieces or anything interesting to wear, either with them or in their cars. It just so happens that one of the actors had gone shopping that day (watch the clip!) and had quite an outfit in her trunk. I run to my computer, write two pages about a man and woman on a couch, watching television, making sure to include the costume in the storyline. I print the scripts, hand them out to the actors and tell them they have five minutes to learn their lines.
I’m worried though, I know something is still missing. I run to my garage. Viola! The last piece of the puzzle – a pitchfork. I grab it and run to the couch, sit, and rest the pitchfork on its end. I realize it won’t fit in the frame if we’re close. So I saw off half the handle, assisted by a PA and the Gaffer.
Now we’re ready. I run lines with the actors, assign the shortened pitchfork to one of them. The actors are off book (maybe it’s all that great Acting Corps training) and ready to rock. Instead of shooting crosses with our two cameras, I say to the DP, “let’s shoot profiles”. My DP says, “What???” I say, let’s get a two-shoot from the front, and then cover it with profiles. “It’s your show”, he says.
I turn on the TV in front of the actors to get the TV’s reflection and I call “Action!” There isn’t much for the actors to react to on the TV, so I lie down on the floor at the actors’ feet as we roll camera. I contort my face, pull out hairs from my head, whatever I have to do to get the actors to laugh at the same thing and at the same time. “And CUT!”
We grab our coverage and we’re done. I am relieved, the crew is happy that we’re wrapped, and the actors are ecstatic because every actor loves a challenge.
We put the clip up on YouTube and 154,000 people seem to like it – nice work, everyone. And yes, feel free to let us know what you think too.
